Shiva- color of Colorless. . . .

After hearing this song,
with utmost attention,
the bells of final scene's,
rang, reminding me,
that all you have gathered from soil,
is to be left soon,
World is already floating away,
but this time, this Iness is also melting away,
roaring vigorously to that which is beyond physical, beyond this building of soil and water,memory and actions, time and space,
and each cell in my body,
sang a song of monk,
of vairagya,

O Shiva, I ran after all,
all tastes, all colors,
but none as magnanimous, and infinite, as thy taste,
After thy taste, no need of infinite tastes with endless cycles,

What can I say,
too soon there will be nothing left in me to say anything,
that's all I can say,
for you are robbing me, myself from me,
leaving nothing but painted with a color of colorless,
melting in ocean of eternity formless, tasteless,colorless,less of all, on which lies the waves of time,space and cause building and destroying itself endlessly . . . .

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2009-03-19/vintage-wisdom/28031005_1_shiva-yoga-intimacy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDLW0NC49Dg

Science of Cinematography

Cinematography . . .  from the first 24 frame scenes to today, the growth, the ways in which it influences us is just more than blowing away the mind.

My first Introduction to Mechanics of Cinema was through my research on the effects on Darkness. I interviewed so many people, and the strange thing is that, my whole perception about Cinema was just shattered.

The real strength of Cinema is not in Light, but the Dark, the darkness is what keeps cinema going. To define something is to loose cinema.

A human fundamentally seeks problems to find solution. Anything unsolved is what shakes a person to long for it, knowing it. In terms of light, the more the object of interest is hidden, the more the subject seeks it. 

It often runs at first establishing subject into normancy by law of associativeness, then runs through cycles of unexpectedness, making us question everything,followed by creating a central problem to making us solve it more, by increasing the number of anomalies from normancy, this is thereby followed by seeking process, and then as one goes towards the solution, as the solution seems closer, so does the difficulties increase. Finally, a state of hopelessness is shown, and suddenly from nowhere does the solution come . . . .

There are scenes of perfect normancy after every 10-30 minutes, to increase the longing for problem, and also creates a break to increase level of associativity with you, the subject followed by making you roll(making your seat belt tight after every 10-30 mins) and level of contrast, from normal to unexpected, the transition is what causes the movie to increase its involvement.

Every scene is precicely and in a very calculated way limited in time by the attaintion span of normal person which is 10 minutes approx. This is how long we can stimulate our mind to keep dopamine levels high. Followed by scenes of normalcy.

The overall flow and continuity, and aligning it, making it coherent, is very well taken care off.

We loose our interest in problems if we drag it more than the point of time span. Such small details are very carefully observed by editing departments. . . 

There is something called central idea, which is like a stem on which we keep on adding leaves, and grow the quest for exploration of that central idea, and finally find fruition. Every scene in some way is very swiftly way, associated with overall theme. . . .

This screen plot is what can be called circular plot, and can be emotional level or intellectual level or different levels. 

Sand, water, Dew or Fog, Forest etc natural elements of surprise are used to make you feel lost and vulnerable. They score good in both associativity as well as level of Hiding. 

The more there is darkness or element of surprise and unknown in film, the more suspense it is. . . 

Simple fact,

Even in real life a problem, is driving force for most of the population. It is a bait or like a trap for most of the people to keep the alive, living. 

If you just tear of the screen of drama from life, it will still want to know something, something more than drama, something more than what is going. There is this longing which finds expression in terms of problems we tackle, the buisiness, the social structures, etc.

It is like when you were a child, you could be quenched by a toy, when you are grown up, you need of finding expression has to be quenced by set of buisiness problems with higher level of difficulties,pleasures, longings , a level higher, but for a person of unprejudiced and keen gaze, the thirst can be quenched by infinity alone, this thirst is what makes him move towards mukti or liberation. 

Every civilization starts with survival, as it evolves, it moves towards, subtler, less physical expression and more artistic expressions(like europe and India), ends up in understanding inward quest for liberation(non-physical dimention of existance, boundless nature) as its ultimate quest.

Tall we stand short,

infront of all what is and what can be,

Humbled we stand like cover of Glaciers,

breaking and melting in the ocean of Eternity

Why do I forget you?

O my secret lover,
my heart, my life,
why do I forget you?

you made my life,
what it is,
still why do I forget you?

I owe you everything,
more than anything,
you win my heart everytime,
why do I break it?

At times, I am completely soaked in you,
filled with distaste, uncolored, in thy devotion,
but just out of compassion,
I nurtured the seed of passion for research and organizational skills,
but then as time flows,
why do I forget my intentions?
why do the plays  become a compulsions?
Remind me always O dear,
that colors and tastes of this world are little dear,
than you, O dear, always,
O my secret lover,
Keep me colorless and tasteless inside,
so that I can love you always,

O my secret lover,
my heart, my life,
why do I forget you?

3 bullets in my heart which changed me . . .

I clearly remember the scene when I had 3 bullets in me. . . . I had some fight with parents after which I ran out with my friends, to some place. As I went, the heavy rains chased me. I clearly recall, the dark roads, and the sea aside me accompanied by thick fog. It was 4 hrs, when I recall, I asked where we were? And were near Daman(Sea shore). I donno know, how we jumped there, but I perceive the scene, of sea, rainy sea in front of me with thick fog and a dead end in road. Suddenly the calmness was inturrupted by voice of bullets. Voice of bullets so real, and I went to take off the bullet from back, but the con took the bullet on other hand, and shot 3 bullets in heart.

Everything was crumbling in my experience, as I was witnessing near death experience. If only you imagine the situation, I am saying. But this was such a real dream, I had yesterday. For the first time, It was I who was even for moment, subject to crumbling, I though I was what not. But as I recount moment I had 3 bullets in me, I was like OMG, parents, everything etc came in front of me. I was like every way I am perceiving is going to be gone! in just a moment. It is not fear, it is coming in talking terms with reality. . .

As I recount this, I realize how foolishly we keep planning tomorrows which have rightly destroyed us. I plan tomorrow I will go here, do this that things, and all that. But I realize on great saint speaking, you will only play well, if it doesn't matter if your winning or onother's winning doesn't matter.  With such ease should one play life?

My mom who is a music teacher, asked me that day evening to search for some Tamil song, and as I was searching for songs, I got a beautiful song, a very famous song, but the graceful expressions of lady just made me in awe. Because when I had no worries about doing big big things, I was a simple boy like this only. I never cared of anything for happiness, until the marketing departments of world's blurred my clarity. I used to stay on a road, on a vehicle, under a tree, simple observing night, and be happy. Soo simple . . :)  This is not about living tribal, living in city or village, it is living life with such heart opened and involvement with such relaxation(not locked by what was and what will, not locked by drama of intellect diving all up). How beautiful. How complicated have me made our lives? How gentle and graceful can we make our life? and see how have we made it? We truely have conned life!
Watch it after 45 seconds and observe expression of lady with red and black saree . . .


So after this, I learned the most important lesson in life, never get too worried about big big things daily in whichever field we are. What is most important? Life must be lived fullest gracefully, every moment, not like a mirage hoping for water to be seen.

Second thing I realized as all experiences came together that, a dependent system is always compulsive.  The more you make habbit of keeping source of happiness on outside dependencies, like getting awesome pizza or flirting a girl or like what criminals do or anything, the more you will find life latched and mind it, you will feel suffocated soon.
But if you become like a person who is happy by himself, no dependencies, simply happy meditatively, that you may outpour that happiness to your friends if they are around going for pizza, if it is needed, but your happiness is not subject to it.

Many talented people get so deeply crumbed in life because their only source of happiness is how thier painting or work is. If it is bad, you are destroyed, depressed.
But Ancient india never had such problems . . . There the work was done with certain meditative process inside, so they were happy whatever they did, sweeping, working, anything. If work goes well, they were satisfied, if not, thats ok. They did work as an outflow of happiness centered  inside.

If you stay like this life will open up, shine up in so many ways, you will actually breath air, and you will feel what was I doing all these days mixed up? Our live has become such . . .

small small rocks make up a mountain,people keep fake smile as a desperate attempt to be happy which consumes so much of life leaving you hollowed,  so I guess, now if I feel unwell, I will not search for pizza, or sexuality or emotional support or intellectual dominance feeling or anything like that, I will let go all, and simply be still, and when slowly happiness is not contained, singingly or swayingly start again :)
Initially you may feel stubborn and cheated, but slowly as you get freed from too many external dependencies, you will understand the significance of practical and inspiring message in the blog . . .

Unexplained milestones in life

This is a story of  a person, who has lived his inches and depths of life in studies of science stream considering it as Arts rather than science. For such person the Idols became Resonance, Isomerism, Balancing of forces in physics, rotations, Vastness of Organic Chemistry and all that. Such has been my life. I have always been fascinated by immense creativity and ways in which the blocks of memory combine in multitudes of way to bring about new and new recombination.

God in terms of endlessness is such clear if you just make one of the study your life, stretch it to your limits, and you will still be amazed how less it is than what it is!

The more I looked in various wells of artistic subjects like chemistry,maths etc created by mankind, the more I felt how I can create infinite subjects out of almost nothing and go on endlessly pursuing one of them. Such is the beauty of world . . . :)

I developed a certain mastery over a few subjects, but the hard time came in letting go. Letting Go is what is going to come in everyones life, by natural course of growth. When I used to go deep enough in organic chemistry and deep enough in Mathematics, I realized one very unique thing about world. If you go deep enough, even superficially(logically) in just about anything, it is interesting. In that sense, whole world is interesting, but how do I embrace everything?

This understanding of subjects brought me to a conclusion that memory and subjects are not the source of interest which are within me, but the source of interest was rather how I linked the blocks of memory to make a beautiful carpet.

After getting for post-graduation in computational science, I had a break of about 1-2 months during which I saw chemistry books and I still remembered how aldol condensation, isomerism, etc everything happened. It was like an old friend meet for me. But then I realized how I need to let go some things in life, because they are meant to be so.

If you put enormous energy on one thing, then something else and so on . . . .  you will be eternally confused as in what you want to do? You will be broken, because memories will pull you here and there.
I guess it is high time we realize that, Important thing is not what we pursue, but with how intensely we pursue, how we put out our head heart,every part ourselves into it, completely. Keep adding few pieces of memory(the lesser the blocks, more the linkage, the more the system is efficient) If you do so, you will see how immensity, intensity will push you to a different level.

So essentially involvement is a ingredient, memory is an ingredient , dissociating for sometimes from memory is a ingredient, and creating right mixture of everything according to individual nature is what will bring out growth out of that person.

Growth which I am talking is not external, but internal process. It is not relative, it is absolute process. External is always relative, Internal is always absolute.
If I take away either memory or involvement or distance from subject, the very thing which you loved the most, will become your biggest frustration or compulsion!