Needs and Deeds

Our dreams don't fall short,

Our desire, swirls around,

we do good things,

and the good things do us,

we start something,

but end up getting trapped by it,

why is everything we take up,

enslaving us,  and is not liberating,

 I am exercising freedom to do, think?

but why is this freedom becoming my very bondage?

Because, our deeds get latched on to our needs,

the deeds are fine, but the needs are the problem,

In the trap of needs, we just entertain in needs,

not seek a way out, 

Needs can't go by control,

rather they grow and florish,

by cycles of control and release, 

Like you try controling your emotional urges,

one day, two days, third day it will come out louder than before,

so control won't help,

The trap can be set free if you latch on to something higher,

If you latch yourself to intensity and logic, emotional urges will fade away,

But even logic is next set of trap,

because you start by thinking,

but end up thinking more than doing,

the thinking becomes need and thats where the problem lies,

The needs in the deeds,

freezes all that is,

all possibilities frozen,

without transcending needs,

So what should we latch on to?

thoughts, emotions, energy,laughter?

what?

have you considered latching on to nothing but with intensity?

If the roots are steep in nothingness,
It is not dullness, because dullness is bondage,
dullness is a heavily guarded trap,
a trap hard to undo,

we are talking about intense nothingness,
and the actions performed with awareness,

it doesn't become a need anymore,

it like, you tamed the monster sitting in your head,

to sit bellow you, 

by latching yourself to something better,

and now the thoughts and actions are not urges,

but rather a conscious act, with awareness,

the insecurities, the needs are no longer propelling,

But yes, you have to fight a monster,

before you take this up,

fear of loosing everything,

fear of unbecoming what you have become,

fear that you won't be same anymore,

the fears are correct, but incorrect at the same time,

even if you don't fear, you do shed your body, and loose it all,

even if you don't fear, the old age ties you up, and pulls you down,

so why not put it down anyway?

Cause you never loose  what was prior by going higher,

You only dwarf it down tremendously by getting something better,

Is is right to get something better, and let the old get cornered?

Yes!, if the new is really better, why not?

But the beauty of the this highest thing is, 

you don't actually loose anything,

it is just that the intensity and the needs become unlatched, untangled,

and thus you enjoy even the moments which seemed dull before,

everything becomes yours, not just few things,

once you split apart intensity and needs,

but it takes effort, it takes time,

thats why inner engineering,

and the inner solitude which may seem to be killing you initially,

distancing yourself from things around, if not possible (which is obvious case for most including me) ,

at least realizing when the needs are taking charge,

cause you will find more than 95% acts sprouting out of needs,

and you realize what a prisoner you are,

without even knowing that you are in prison,

this uncertainty, this repulsion, these things will settle down, 

and the seeming poison, will transform into most wonderful nectar,

the more you are aware, the faster will this happen,

the more you feel intensity in closed eye by sadhana,

the process of transformation will be catalyzed,

and one day, you become free,

truly free, but it is not a logical dictat to be truly free,

a person like me, can talk all this garbage in poem, knowing intellectually this stuff,

but still not free, 

it has to be worked upon,

and has to be in experience of life,

that't my poem on needs and deeds,

and twain unlocked shall make you truly free