Competition can take your life away

A 12th Grade boy, suffering from chronic depression is what I see today, as my mother's collegue cries over his son stumbling just before exam,which is tomorrow.
I talked to him, despite his parents not allowing anyone to speak with him, I tried to open him up. But I failed, his state of depression is too chronic, wbc count 15000! which is less than dengue patient!
It is quite shocking, because I feared these kinds of things will start taking place if nothing is done, and with changing scenario and they are, which is really unfortunate.

This is not just his story. This is a future story of our immediate generation, if we don't bring a little change.

Story in brief
Let me just brief his story . . . He was a boy who was a topper in school from 1st to 8th. His father was sort of hiterish, cutting out channel, taking away his novels,etc. Still biggest problem comes when a person has to face himself, and changing face in society.

Let me tell you the actual root of the problem, because I have myself experienced it a bit of this current of stress. I want to discuss this problem at 2 levels. At the end, I want a promise from you all, so that you don't further instiage such problems:


1. Micro Level :Especially If you are a topper, in your head, you are only accostumed to hearing good good things about you, when it comes to your field of mastery. That is ok, but your whole identity starts centering around this, and especially when it becomes only means of establishing yourself in society, problem starts. Problem start when your passion to go for engineering is overruled for your passion to crunch others in competition and show others that yes, you are superior than others. People tell this is the rule of Jungle, but we are more than animals, I guess!

Right now, we become what we become, because it is in fashion, like currently it is engineering. Right now, competitive sucess is in fashion which is dangerous. I would love to meet an begger who chose his profession willingly than to engineer who chose his profession , just because of people say. Even taking responsibility has to be a very conscious choice, not determined by society or trends. Even today, I am giving gate, my aim is not to top!, my aim is to get into a field I wish to go. If that is so, if today I fail to do so, any way I will try and get somewhere, but when people's voice becomes more important than your will, this destruction is inevitable.

My Sister :
I am really happy that my sister became what she felt is worth for her, she went for journalism, she went for interview in star news office too, she designs posters of amul. I am telling you, I see in her shining eyes.She was opposed by parents and the logic bieng that engineering is supirior and a child not becoming engineer or doctor shames his/her parents which was most absurt thing I ever heard, so I supported her. She wasn't doing anything wrong, . . as such intending to disrespect parents, bring shame or xyz? But she wanted to make conscious right choice. Intuitively she was correct. She faces problems, but she matured over years, because she learned to stand by herself, which I wished.

I wished her not to worry by trendsetters, or 1st rankers, 2nd rankers, I wished her to rather making conscious choice. At max 3 days people keep things in head, next moment you are the one who has to live in life. Especially the very nature of competitive sucess is that it needs sugery praises, facebook likes, false egoism to sustain, rather real success need not even bother what others think. Like If I really wished to be engineer,  should I really bother about others? No, I am happy with it, but the very reason, people need this false fame, is because what people think about it is more important to them,not when genuinely matters to them. This is terrible terrible source of stress and anxiety and please stay away from such ditches.

When I was to leave my job for PhD, Mitesh told me one very apt truth, whether  you succeed or fail, people always have thing to speak, don't go by them!
And second thing he told is "World can never be perfect paradise, you get 1st rank in IIT, still you have exams, CAT, so on and on and on. . ." hence it is endless puzzle and therefore better is to go by what you care for is genuinely worth.

2. Macro Level : If we come to national level, I want to ask answers from teachers,government and all those involved in dream building plans. If  80% of Indians are going to opt only for engineering, the fabric of nature is going to be disrupted. Unemployment is bound when there is mad rush. I very strongly feel that these agencies should think carefully about projecting as one field suppirior than other and rather create a sense of conscious pursuit. Probably it is too late to talk about it, but yes we can introduce, fields like wood engineering(carpentry) if lucrativeness is so fitted in head. I personally don't wish a singular one ideology keeping world. Oneness must be inside, not outside.

You think about so many things, just take time and calmly think about it.

A promise, I made and hope you also do
1. I will not update Facebook status, twitter or publicize my competitive success around me, if ever I get, because what matters to me is getting in curriculum(or place for further growth), not proving edge over others and showing superiority.

2. I will encourage conscious choice making, if it is more or less harmonizing, and never ask a person to get 1st rank, rather tell him to try best to least qualify and that too not forcefully. All decision making must be conscious.


I am not sure how less it is for this problem, but little little steps when together, brings about revolution, and that is precisely what democracy is all about. I think it is high time we do some real soul searching about it.