What would he think?

I know bla bla bla,
I see bla bla bla,
It is logical bla bla bla,
It is stupid bla bla bla,
but what would he think?

I made a fool of myself bla bla,
I am an ass bla bla,
I am amazing bla bla,
I am so stupid bla bla,
but what would he think?
or now how do I look in my eyes?
I thought I am smart, but i am not,
I thought I am fast , but I am not,
I thought I am slow, but I am not,
I thought I am fool, but I am not,
I thought I am bla bla bla

How will I earn?
How will I eat?
How will I sleep?
How will I be?

Shit man, what the f**k i just did,
What will happen next?


the mind is THIS way,
It can at times mesmerize you,
to start judging yourself,
to start you into people's opinions,
but if you can't let go of ,
<I thought I am>'s  <How will's>, <what would he/she?>'s,
you will be in Gorden Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen
All the lesson's can get hijacked,
when energies get petrubed by the masks you put,
That's the time, you have to banish all the mind rubbish,
and let go of the self identities for moment,
cause the grave/tombstone, or holy ashes,
will just rot after a time,

so why freak out?
why not work in the world,
but without bad odour of these mind garbages of What if's, i am bla bla bla,
and the life will be back on track again,
just not let anything affect much,
like a lotus leaf, not letting water stick in it
so should be the self and social identity.

Dealing with Code bugs

 Before I start, I want to say, that as a reader you must know that I am also a human like you whose opinions change with time . . . the words written here are in no way absolute. They are just a reflection of my though process at the point of writing this blog. So, basically, it can be a crap too . . .

I guess every coder has experienced a chain of issues which line up very often. It can be truly frustrating moment, especially on weekends.
How do you deal with such shit?

1. Always give time for yourself , I am going to a park, jogging my ass off and then meditating for an hour or half, followed by awesome juice. In those times, gently keep aside all the issues, because anyways you know they are shit.

2.Now one way to handle the bugs is, by instinctive responses, and adrenaline rush, fear and flight response. The fear of consequences, will definitely solve you problem, but will also exaust you internally. Other problem is, that you will not consciously contemplate the root cause, and will just keep applying patches like a madman.
                                               OR
 You can think of it as entertainment or that like the annoying relative /friend you have. It spices up your life, isn't it, otherwise, it is too dry. So just brace up for this drama too, why do you have to get too touched up, serious about the bug, just try to solve it with sarcastic humor. If you are taking up higher responsibility, problems or new situations are bound to come, (not that you have to invent new ones), and you are supposed to confront them. You can't let the bug ruin you. I myself had attitude problems when a bug comes. I still get a bit panicy, when i see a new bug. It is just that, you have reaffirm yourself, everything in this world, including you are a shit, and these bugs are little hot spices. Just try to solve it, and not worry about the critical natures  in exaggerated fashion. Panic, should be the last resort, not the first. It will take time to change this mindset, but once you do, the problems will become movies, and you will pass through it.

Even if you don't pass, if you don't let go of the fear of failiure, you will hurt yourself too much to recover back, after some time, because, you can fight once in a while, but every moment fighting with fear, will make you hate codes, or give you more and more reasons to fall apart.
Coding is such beautiful thing, isn't it? Do you remember the first hello world program? So why start hating it because of fear of bug resolution failiures?
Let the bug be just a spiced up version of learning experience.


All this MUST be complemented with exercise and meditation or any journey of your own rediscovery, which you seek to know, otherwise, the life will seem waste, with these bugs. And to an extend, it will be, if you don't become seeker.

So as my friend Varun says,
Do your work like karma, which means, you just have to do it, even if it is meaningless, you have to take up some work and do it without any expectations of  miraculous life implications fundamentally because it wont. Morning or Evening routines, for your self rediscovery by some means is important, and at that time, kick away everything aside, even if it is thrilling or zealous.


So, become a coder, nothing more, nothing less, without a very strong identification with an expert coder . Because as a wise sage, sadhguru says, that dropping of identities is key to liberation. The more energetic you become, the more the urge to preserve that precious moment will become, hence a stronger identity. But everything that can be identified is physical, and perishable, and will always take you through its ups and downs. It will customize the mind to get entertained around that strong coder identity, and then you will go through the fears and panics, every time you have bugs.