Soil

Soil,
how to put you up in words?
attempting the impossible?
still this simple poem,
just an offering,
to indescribable,

on which was battles of life and death,
on which were smartest and dumbest,

on which we stand tall,
and in which we are tombed,
the senseless, the boring talks and interesting stories,
the filthy places, and beautiful ridges,
the curse of pain, the gift of pleasure,
the pain of turmoils of loved ones, and the sweetness of love,
the dominance and bullying, the irritation, the loneliness, the mockery,
the subservience and understanding, the humility, the kindness, and empathy,
the hypocrites, the smart bullying, the revenge and uglyness,
the forgiving, the compassionate, the warmloving despite all odds,
the heartlessness of day, the gentleness of night,
you seem to coax all with your bewildering life,


on which was found liberation,
on which was found endless noise,

the same stained with blood of billions,
womb another billions,

the wicked, the naughty, the wise, the loving,
the cruel, the noble,
the toughest, the humblest, all lay in your lap,


it has seen rise and fall of power,
as well as melting away in love,
smiles of success, cries of failure,
sweating of workers, and luxuries of life,
the humiliations, and the appreciations,

which has seen the gloominess and happiness alike,
which has seen the death and life alike,
which has seen treachery and trust alike,
ugliest and brightest alike,
the deception and the inception of clarity,
which has seen the blossoming, the wilting,
O dear soil what words for you?

We are just a piece of your art,
how can we be anything more than you?

still we cut the very root which,
feeds us the milk of life,
and then wonder why it hurts?

I lay my head down,
with head and heart, 
O soil

Crazy Strange Life

My sister sometimes seemlessly asks, why meditation? Why spirituality? I wish I could explain her. But still I want to speak. I want to ask you . . . , beyond all demystification of world technology has done, has it not made us addict of the fact that it the only single standard truth? Newton gave us model of gravitation, but we always put the very reason of force into blackbox. No scientist has answer of why? We only see at the surface try to apply it getting the reward of its application, think that it is the ultimate, like a child playing with doll thinks. We don't try to look at other subtler aspects of life. We have chopped down life to objective forms. Objectification is good for scalification and generalizing but not good for  looking at things in totality.

"We are so smart that we have conned life . . . "- Anonymous
Tell me, if you think, you know everything about life,you are too smart , will you be receptive to anything new? You will just be like 1960's cassette. .  .
I guess many of us have developed an attitude of knowing everything, but actually knowing very less in depth. Making more noise, and actually doing very less.Although something is better than nothing. Because once this attitude of knowing comes, your learning process contracts, and you degenerate. That's why there is a saying, a man grows only if he stays a child inside.



 Life is more than objective, it is subjective reality. If you look at a form of music, we can look it simply in terms of it's Frequency spectrum. That is the surface. If you dig more deep, you analyse the words, its meanings and all that. Then on next level of analysis, you find variations of frequencies, creating something called rhythm and stress and stoppage, called Prosody. If you go more deep, you actually feel the totality, completeness of music, an overall tone and reverberation. If you look at anything, there are many more aspects to it than just surface. When I prepared for Gate, I was always amazed and fascinated by the fact that there how almost everything is like endlessly deep!

 I was studying VLSI. On first go, I only observed the words, meanings and basic mathemetics. The next time I studied, the same topic, I found the drama aspect of it, I discovered, the beautiful rythm and correlation with everything else. The next time I studied, I discovered, oh how much I could link the concepts to almost any natural phenomenon and how much we can simplify the concept in both structure(morphology) and understanding(anatomy)! I mean we judging a child on basis of 2-3 questions of interview or objective test is a very juvinile idea of judgement. It is transparent and uniform, but not very effective way of judging.&nbsp There ough to be more better ways. A human must be judged on how he has analysed the stuff, for example project based approach where you are asked to do some project and simply explain the work flow, but it lacks transparency and uniformity. We need a combination of both, isolated unilateral approach will end up in unrest.

 But comming back to how life is, If we look at it technically, we will look at the trees, plants, robots,what not,color,small taste touch, if you go a bit deeper, you observe the the drama of it, somewhat deeper you find it is simply chaotic. Nothing fixed, nothing certain, no clue, you go just deeper, we find it like perpetual system which moves in cycles, Deeper you go, you start realizing  that how immense and magnificent this chaos is, and immensity of life will just tear you up, and you start perceiving everything with great awe and bewilderment! Then naturally this question comes, how creation and what is it all, I may be influential person,apply so many rules of manipulating humans, masses of population or architect or bill gates, creating such towering structures and world wide technology, but still how much I am vulnerable, and knocked by 'I don't know'! I don't know doesn't means logically comprehending, but also in totallity! It is like everything is like black box concept to me, I have kept most essential things like force, life and death in black box, accepting it, and build applications and applications out of it.

Moral of story is what is marketed well, and dramatized well may not be the truth.No we only know model, because we know only definition, not the source.Do you know mathematics of everything?No, because the moment assumption of quantization or fundamental assumtion that A is a seperate object to B, We can simply not apply addition, subtraction and all that. We go to various theories like String theory, Quantum theory and all that, but still if we go deeper, to analyse the fundamentals, we will land up being in spirituality. That's what had exactly happened to Albert Einstein if you read about his live very thoroughly.


 This seeking which arizes from deep realization amidst success and failiure, bitter and sweet moments, that 'I do not know'(not that I cannot handle a few things)  is what is becoming a seeker and process of seeking, spirituality
.(Eternal Laws of Life : Simply awesome )

People often say Love is highest, but love is misinterpreted as just an emotional plane, but meditativeness is more like melting away into everything.
Spirituality is core core of things, such subjective profound experience cannot be expressed in objective ways. That’s reason most people often prefer to speak less about it  :)

Night Sky

I am melting in, falling and falling and falling,
into love,

I just wish to be lost forever :)
call me a drugger, or piss drunk,
i don't care,
because this drug is more than all,
It doesn't deceive you,
It does make you lost :),
O god, this romance is killing me,
every cell in my body is bursting for,
love, for touch of your infinite skin,
for warmth of your long hands,
for breath of your fresh mouth,
for eyes stealing me away,
for kiss I have been waiting for years,

I love you,
like the way Einstein loved physics,
like the way lovers love,
like the way Shakespeare loved poetry,

I gather all endless forms of love,
and give it to you o my heart, my soul,
who lies in bosom of everything,

Make me yours forever,
let this skin burst out,
let this life go away,
let this restless noises fade,
let I come out of Doctor,Philosopher,Lawyer,Lover and all what I thought I loved,
and just fall in love endlessly to just nothing,
just nothing, just falling in love!!!!!!
Oaaaaahwww
I don't care what I become,
I just wish to fall in love, lost forever,
my skin is thrilled forever, roaming in forest,
with scent of lover,
Make me loose forever,
Just forever,
I don't want to come back in world,
I have seen its up's and down's,
let this be my last birth,
I just want to fall in your love,
forever :)
Just lost forever,
melting away . . .
falling into,
forever and ever


It is how I feel sometimes
as if the whole world has stopped for a moment,
as I look out at balcony at 2.am
feeling the world sleep,
just staring and staring,

But note, this intense involvement,
if based on emotion,
can stop,
but it surpasses emotion,
emotion is like flower which blooms and wilts,
meditativeness is like roots,

if it is based on inward looking,
after sufficient period of being worked upon,
it can just go on and on
no boundaries, no compulsions,
no limits, just unlimited expansion,



(Warning: Liberation word is subject to too much mis-interpretation, therefore there is a saying,
one who knows, can tell it not,
one who can tell, knows it not!
)

Dissolution

I had delight,

of lovely medows,

of steamy nights,

of life so shallow,

But one day bright,

I felt so hollow,

my gaze fell on eye,

i was so callow,

I saw torn out skin,

of a dead lover,

whose body served me,
as a seemingly irresistible pull, 

how stupid was I,

to run for just the skin,

like a tranquilized wolf,

And then I knew,

the beauty of life,

lies to not fall in love with somebody,

erroticized by colors and decoration of moment,

playing hide and seek with the emotion and skin,

taking pride in possesing somebody,

when if you really see, you have nobody,

but to fall back in love with love itself,

true love is always one sided,

as an offering, 

never cares of getting anything,

just loves and loves,
it cannot be forced,
it can only bloom,

even when lover breaks heart,

or no matter what happens,

this one sided love never dies,

true love never demands, never expects,

it has melted away everything in,

an nothing me and mine is left,

such is the love

If your love is unconditional,

deep enough, beyond decoration,

just as an offering,

slowly you will find yourself,

swallowed by love,

ups and downs of life,

even if object of love, enter's life or falls apart,
or even if there is no object of love, but love itself,

it remains unchanged, ever intense,

making every moment of life,

as a love affair :)

bursting you out,

into eternity :)