In cocktail of Noise,
For life I poise,
In meadows and shallow swamps,
I run like a paranoid,
plunging in for deep dive in ocean of Rhyme,
melting down to hold Life
Corporate Choir
An year back, as I turn the pages of my memory, I remember the time, when I used to be in corporate as an intern where the very dominating crunches chocked me. There was a particular department, where some great minds were to meet some deadline. Overnights, pressure and what not! and it was Sunday. In this tricky situation, I remember that due to some reason, a very senior coder having experience more than 5+ years was just trying hard. In this chaos, a call comes, of the lead who was enjoying weekends with family. But what went on call is something which just blew me away . . . .
"You are in office for 5 years+ and still
just of no worth
what are you doing?
You are a f**king a**h*le
If you have some guts,
Prove yourself
Even the new people,
are better than you "
What I mean to put up is that many of us would have been in such uncomfortable situation, where our very work, and years of hardwork come at stake. In cricketing also, a few performances go bad, and the whole world chatters and speak against you and you have to
Prove Yourself !
You need not get every explaination, worry about conficts, differences with world, You just need to figure out way for yourself. That's truely a very wise way live . . . .
You think you are smart, you go endlessly finding explaination, justifying and contradicting, and you repeatedly come back to square one, therefore it is really wise not necessarily to fit everything, everybody in your body and mind experience.
That night, I couldn't sleep for 3'O clock and just wondering what the heck is all this, how the world is! Years have went by and today, as I squeeze the various colors of experiences, I wish to express some aspects which I tried to ponder. . . .
Teaching: An unexpected unfolding
As a teacher, I have been into many places, trying to bring best out of children. Once I decided to have a drama in school. Now when you do something other than studies in school, children are always very happy :). In that drama, I was wishing to somehow pass some message of de-addiction of tobacco as I had found many of them addicted to it.
In class, there are always some sincere students, out of which few are very creative, whom I gave task of writing the script with me, some were good at language, so I alloted them task of correcting and enhancing the language in use. Amongst the rest, some were good at expressing the emotions to audience, so I gave them task of enacting.
I tried to carry out things in disciplined manner but still leaving some loose ends for growth.
I just tried to be a mediator. . .
All in all, on 15th of August, we were ready to roll on the red carpet, and if you just see the performance and it was just outstanding. As I was looking at my students with great sense of compassion, I realized the whole world in it.
Essence of Management
The whole world, from management to other possibilities, everything was out there. I realized in such a brief span of time what a role of Manager is. It is to harmonize the micro with the macro to bring out the best. It is to understand the inherent tendencies of person, his advantages and make him blossom in best possible way and at the same time make the blossoming of the person instrumental in blossoming the whole project.
It is like, if just like needle and the sword thing. It is the role of manager to identify the sword and the needle, make best use of it and at the same time give each person a chance to blossom.
When I was in corporate, if you see my desks to walls, I had creative paintings, I had developed a standalone user friendly plugin which could reduce time-slab(50%+) of company in writing redundant code again and again. But still the company was adamant on making me do the stuff which did not bring best out of me. If it is for short span, it would have been ok, but if things don't go right even for one time, there is a serious problem. If you are for 6 months and you don't get even slightest expression in terms of what possibilites you are up to, there is a big issue. Communication gap grew, inefficiencies of company were exposed. I really pity the inefficiency of company to make use of me. I could have revolutionarized the company. But niether they had time to listen carefuly, motivate, nor they had time to ponder what I am good at and how they can make use of my inherent strengths that I have gathered over time. I couldn't speak out much because I was less of a social guy, but that's what I say is an understanding a manager ough to have. He must have deep sense of understanding about each person as well as the overall picture at the same time. I call it simply foolishness, and loss was both to individual and the whole of system. That's why a lead, a manager is so important in company. He has power to create magic, and at the same time he has power to screw everything by his own senseless survivalistic apatite. That's the thing, the art of harmonizing the macro and micro is very crucial.
Be Practical
People in world live in surrealistic idyll that everyone can be mend and trained to be on the top of company. But I bet to totally differ, because I have a practical perspective. I believe that dreaming, thinking and planning is different, and actually doing things is different. When you are dealing with a child in school or an employee in office, you cannot make everyone just your own way, your requirments, etc.(Not to deny it's importanc ) Rather the attempt must be to identify 'his way' and identify 'your way' and just locate the role in which he can fit the best, express in the most efficient way.
It is like knowing the hidden overall feel of the person is very very important. If you want to prepare a grand cake, you just don't need egg's, nor you just need flour, you need all different things, commingling and heated up to optimum span bringing out grand new cake.
When I left the company as intern, I found astounding, unimaginable expression in studies. AIR 280 amongs't 3 lakh students in Gate, AIR 39 in JRF. Personally I don't appreciate concept of competition, rather I admire concept of expression which is unruffled by winds of competition or anything else. I mean, even if I had not got such good rank I would still have gone out to become a professor only(except in too much extreme cases).
But the point here is that if you don't allow picasso to paint rather say him, o dear, prove yourself in field of IT and politics, he would have never been what he is. It is responsibility of a person to look at himself very neutrally trying to identify his inherent advantages.
If I look at the mechenics neutrally, I note a few observations as listed down bellow :
1. On a plain level, there is nothing called 'Inherent talents'. 'Inherent Talent' is a hoax concept. Everything which a human being acquires is out of concentrated digging in the infinite mines of possibilities.
It is my assertion that in begining, no human would have been special in great ways. But slowly as time passes . . . by constant dwelling and evolution, some humans would have explored some great possibilites, and in the process of playing different roles, they would have got some expertise.
For an artist who has worked for 30 years in arts, he can surely create a Burj Khalifa after 30 more years of experience in technicality of civil engineering , but it would take him just few days to create a masterpiece. On the other hand it would have taken a civil engineer same years to make such painting. But is it worth? Why beat the bush around?
If not artist, you must become atleast animator or singer, atleast some corellation but you become an IT Engineer, what sense?
I mean yes, for money earn in some ways, but don't create dams on your strengths . . .
Don't do the same mistakes as I did
I did the same mistake and I am telling you, don't do the same mistake as I had done . . .
Sometimes you are not good and still working, somethings are just hopeless fooling yourself type work, Like I joining work, I knew, I was going to do it so miserably, still I did
From Manager to everyone felt I was not made for it, I was myself struggling with something I had never made myself for, It was like very out of place thing,
trying to make fool of himself. If you do such self fooling, who can help you? Important lesson learnt. If I had trained myself to be Ford, it would have been ok, but each nerve of me was screaming, I wasn't made for it, I tried hard enough but my intellect, the very wiring was never practiced for it, although I would have made myself like that in 3-5 years,
It would have been useless when I have something better which I have build upon 10-15 years and which is indeed useful . . . And you see, the results proved what I wished to convey,
don't make such fool . . . It's ok to roam around to get broader perspective, but I guess it is foolish to walk away against mountain, when you can find expression so well . . .
Still it is your choice, sometimes great people show examples of changing so that you don't keep rigidity. . .
Anomalies are always there, thats the beauty, that nothing is so tightly fixed :) . . .
Dreaming is different, and practicallity is different. How many people dream to have perfect stroke in cricket, but how many do become experts? Today, at age of 25, suddenly you want to be sachin,and you have no experience of cricket, it won't work . . . Be practical. . . .
There is a huge difference in commenting, suggestions and actually dealing the situation, experience does matter. . .
You can only go somewhere from where you are right now . . . identify this right now, what kind of patterns and structures you have build, and if you really look in clearity, when you are very pleasant you will get an answer by careful understanding, not of yourself, but the things, the tendencies you have gathered over a period of time.
2. Somethings can be worked up not all things.(Think about it practically)
3. Childhood is a very very critical phase of life, the very structure of brain is developing and the tendencies in childhood no matter how gibberish or childish they look, are actually the very so called common patterns of your life. If you look at it very carefully, and want to know, neutrally look at the very way in which the structure of your various aspects of expressions have organized itself. . . . It is quite important. . . .
One must understand his capacity, a perception of what he can do, what he cannot, he must understand the practical trade-offs
4. Bieng sensitive to comments of others will make simple things tough for your. . . It is not that you won't do it eventually, but why to unnecessary get into turmoils?
5. In my life, I have seen very successful people(in worldly scale)(I have also seen many of such d**kheads who just keep boasting) and yet they live such sadist life, I say, don't add misery, if you can't add joy. You can become a great successful person like Hitler, after bieng long enough in field, with eyes open, but that sword can be either used for destroying yourself in so many ways or can be used to create conducive environment for yourself. External lilts have nothing to do with internal situation. You can make process a very enjoyable journey, a very harmonious choir, just read life of Dhirubhai Ambani . ..
6. Importance of internal pleasentness
It makes you perform your best, of course people always speak, you must just enjoy, not all things go your way, never, atleast internally you must enjoy . . . fearful people never do anything, they fear of success, they fear of failiure and go nowhere. When you are in playground or worldcup , important thing is not to take tension or pressure, or comments of others to your head, important thing is you performing, isn't it so? So just doing task with involvement is important.
Before I was giving a very crutial exam in life(Gate), I had made my mind, wheather I get high score or low score is a different story, but If I will give example with deep sense of involvement and joy :) Who care of the past and future :)
When you think something can be done, you must do it, death,etc external parameters are something we have no control over, but we must try to make the best of what we have, and make that process of building a pleasent process :)
If you are always confused, worried, chaotic, don't have sense, you will never enjoy and understand beauty of serine moments in life which come by you
In midst of great plathora of anarchy lies a great possibility of harmony
People choose to be different different things according to thier tendencies, some choose painter, some choose politician, some chooses to be family guy, some xyz
but if art lies to creating one big beautiful mesh where all are harmoniously finding expression working at different aspects to create one big picture.
We have great artists, buisness doing people, and magic is for example creating a board of animation, we need both to work harmoniously to build it,
still it is on a small scale,
we have so many differences, we must work together harmoniously to create a magical possibility in a story called life!
I would like to quote life of a few great personalities :
Charles Darwin: In his early years, Darwin gave up on having a medical career and was often chastised by his father for being lazy and too dreamy. Darwin himself wrote, "I was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect." Perhaps they judged too soon, as Darwin today is well-known for his scientific studies.
Albert Einstein: Most of us take Einstein's name as synonymous with genius, but he didn't always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end, winning the Nobel Prize and changing the face of modern physics.
Patience and Perseverance
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Do you remember the first time you had to learn A, B, C? You had to go through so much of hardship . . . Even if you are learning world's best instrument or anything, you need patience and perseverance You need to pass through a phase of gestation period. . . . then slowly , bit by bit only will the stem grow and flowers blossom. You cannot get the flowers instantly :)
Today, Tomorrow
Today you care of my personallity, tomorrow you won't but the work which will start will go on for years, wheather I am gay pressuming I wish to be unmarried for working 15 hrs day in service as a matter of a personal choice, or I am anything. . . . Shocking but people may throw all sorts of tantrums in backbitching, but needn't care for all, work must speak and continue, you must be very insensitive to personal attacks and just focus on your work
7. once you choose for long enough, you must not keep changing again and again based on situations which come in life intuitively. Some people hallucinate so much, impulsively take decision and then regret. . .
learn to also look beyond decoration
8. Just learn to look things beyond decoration, just the way it is . . .
For example, Sexuallity when looked without decoration is just like animals . . . animostic . . . nothing wrong about it, I am just using it as an example, if you cut the crap of romantic story, the beauty of face, and emotional or intellectual climax, just look at the sex, the very process, it is not different from any other animal, not to say that it is unnatural, but many of people foolishly go on thinking it as highest possibility failing to understand this simple fact, that it is not the sex but the decoration, the personalities, etc which became instrumental, strong memories and histamine patterns in brain which made you go in it and now you are going on doing same thing again and again, easily becoming compulsive, just forgetting the immense possibility of what that they care for, wish for, just because of strong sense of memory of body.
I definately appreciate different artistic ways, some are just breathtaking :) And you just cannot help appreciating beautiful compromising aspects of Indian marriage. Deeper relationships cannot happen if you are too rigid about your ambitions,your idea's, your impositions. You have to be break some rigidity for it. You have to make a clear choice . . .
I think humans have two great boon, the ability to make choices, and explore immense possibilities. I mean who could have thought of creating marvels of architecture, and so many different expressions 10,000 years ago? All of us can choose on some levels very consciously, even to live an emotional life or intellectual life or social life, or xyz is essentially a choice of life :)
To still know in depths about profound aspects of life read my post "Ananta Samsaar" or "Infinite World", to get detailed view.
In the generations to come, you must be even more conscious and understanding, because in future, production departments are to shrink further and marketing departments to expand. . .
At the end, I just want to reiterate 2 instances . . .
You need not get every explaination, worry about conficts, differences with world, You just need to figure out way for yourself.
In midst of great plathora of anarchy,
lies a great possibility of harmony
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